I haven’t laughed so much over anything since the hogs ate my kid brother. - Red Harvest by Dashiell Hammett
Ocean’s Whatever - The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi
75% OK. - Tell Me Everything by Sarah Enni
I have always loathed murder. - Bring the Monkey by Miles Franklin
Still marooned in 1815 with murder afoot - A Twist in Time by Julie McElwain
“But how can I send my heart to him when he’s just said, in no uncertain terms, that he doesn’t speak its language?” - Autoboyography by Christina Lauren
It Ends With…Me Not Enjoying This Book - It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover
In which Squirrel Girl and puns are not enough - The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl: Squirrel You Know It's True by Ryan North and Erica Henderson, et al
What to do when both the title and the back blurb are lies - John Dies at the End by David Wong
Harder to behold were the more structural disfigurements - Asymmetry by Lisa Halliday
This Should Either be 5 Stars or Negative 100 - Her Closest Friend by Clare Boyd
Shake Me Because I’m Falling Asleep From This Book - To Shake the Sleeping Self by Jedidiah Jenkins
For reasons of my own I take note of the way people act when they’re around mirrors - Boy Snow Bird by Helen Oyeyemi
“Having a trash chute was one of my favorite things about my building. It made me feel important, like I was participating in the world. My trash mixed with the trash of others. The things I touched touched things other people had touched. I was contributing, I was connecting.” - My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh
When the doorbell rings, no one barks. - Can't and Won't by Lydia Davis
Girl, Wash Your Face – If you like/don’t like Goop you will like/not like this - Girl Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be by Rachel Hollis
Is this creepier because I’m reading as an adult? - Hokey Pokey by Jerry Spinelli
More a memoir, less a guide - Ready or Not...There We Go!: The REAL Experts' Guide to the Toddler Years with Twins by Elizabeth Lyons
The Audacity of the Rich White Lady - Something in the Water by Catherine Steadman
A different kind of Wild one…. - Junie B. Jones and the Yucky Blucky Fruitcake by Barbra Park
Our hotbed of mediocrity - Hazards of Time Travel by Joyce Carol Oates
We three kings (not /those/ three kings)… - A Tale of Three Kings: A Study in Brokenness by Gene Edwards
She lets words break her bones. She hides her face at the slightest thing. - A Game of Hide And Seek by Elizabeth Taylor
Epic Romances Rarely Start With a 5 Year Stiffy - Warlord Wants Forever by Kresley Cole
If it makes you happy… - The Magnolia Story by Chip and Joanna Gaines
Time to move Sarina Bowen back on hiatus - Pipe Dreams by Sarina Bowen
I absorbed the picture in a way I had not in a long time. - The Man in the Picture by Susan Hill
Mediocre Non-Fiction Primer on Religious Conspiracy Theories - Secrets of the Code: The Unauthorized Guide to the Mysteries Behind The DaVinci Code by Dan Burstein
Book and reader, if they meet up at the right moment, it can make sparks fly - The Library of Unrequited Love by Sophie Divry
Nice touch! But you know how songs, well, age. - Breathing Lessons by Anne Tyler
Too Bland to be Sinful - 14th Deadly Sin by James Patterson
TLDR: I enjoyed it, but it convinced me of nothing. - Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance
Little by little, sales went back down. - Mouthful of Birds by Samanta Schweblin
His masculinity was only too apparent. - The Curse of the Pharoahs by Elizabeth Peters
Some day your prince will come and he just might be a slobbery monster - Snow Pony by Christian Trimmer
Let it snow, let it snow! - I Wish it Would Snow. by Sarah Dillard
What the everloving…? - The Book of Essie by Meghan MacLean Weir
The first Christie book I haven’t liked. - The Big Four (Hercule Poirot, #5) by Agatha Christie
The last vestige of human taint had vanished. - The Island of Doctor Moreau by HG Wells
Bored Senseless - Every Day in Tuscany by Frances Mayes
Way Too Many POVs and Some Issues Not Addressed - What Remains True by Janis Thomas
The Book Was Free - Big Sexy Love by Kirsty Greenwood
Interesting Idea That’s Been Done Before - Evidence of the Affair by Taylor Jenkins Reid
Way Too Light on World Building and Character Development - A Slice of Magic by A.G. Mayes
Re-Read Leaves Me Wanting - The Countess Conspiracy by Courtney Milan
Pancakes. Jello Shots. “Uptown Funk”. - Delicious! by Ruth Reichl
My baby is two hundred pounds in a wheelchair and hard to push uphill but silent all the time. - The Outlaw Album by Daniel Woodrell
Michael Connolly gets his two detectives together - Dark Sacred Night by Michael Connolly
Ugh - A Simple Favor by Darcy Bell
“Of course I do,” returned Arthur, a little irritably. “You mean that it is a double-bedded room, and that one of the beds is occupied?” - The Dead Hand and Other Stories by Wilkie Collins