Don’t Worry Be Happy… even if your smile is upside down - Don’t Worry, Bee Happy: An Acorn Book by Ross Burach
Put the Needle on it - Eye of the Needle by Ken Follett
It’s about sleeping, and it’s somehow exhausting - My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh
Way too long for only one note - The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah
A ghost story without much story - The Graveyard Apartment by Mariko Koike
Best Selling Bore - Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy by John Le Carre
When a Tiger comes to dinner she will want to….. - When a Tiger Comes to Dinner by Jessica Olien
“Better nonexistence than pain” – whatever, dude - Office of Mercy by Ariel Djanikian
The art of sharing? - Not Your Nest! by Gideon Sterer
A-quirk-able! - My Squirrel Days by Ellie Kemper
A disappointing end to a promising series - The Cthulhu Casebooks - Sherlock Holmes and the Shadwell Shadows by James Lovegrove
Featuring the fastest copy machine available - The Firm by John Grisham
Read “The Primal Wound” Instead - Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up by Nancy Newton Verrier
The Speed Bump in an Otherwise Smooth Ride - House of Chains by Steven Erikson
It is a truth universally acknowledged that giraffes aren’t all that sexy. - Pride, Prejudice, and Other Flavors by Sonali Dev
This Barely Qualifies as a Romance - Twice in a Blue Moon by Christina Lauren
If You Live Forever…Maybe Do Something? - Eternal Life by Dara Horn
Just don’t read the last chapter - When the Lights Go Out by Mary Kubica
Reminded Me of Under the Dome…Not a Good Reference Point - Sleeping Beauties by Owen King
The sky is falling - Out of the Blue by Sophie Cameron
I needed more of a reason to care what happened to these people - The Lying Game by Ruth Ware
What’s the word for half-smitten? Smooten? Smittle? - Smitten by the Brit by Melonie Johnson
Allow, if you’re still alive, six to eight years to arrive - Sunburn by Laura Lippman
I Think I Missed Something - My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh
In which I rant about the heroine - The Girl in the Tower by Katherine Arden
“If the hair was found, other parts of themselves might be recoverable too.” - The Natural Way of Things by Charlotte Wood
Sometimes a book is meant to be read once, then never talked about again…. - The Panda Problem by Deborah Underwood; Lana Lynn Howls at the Moon by Rebecca Van Slyke
Bland and Watery - Fresh Flavors for the Slow Cooker: Reinvent the Slow-Cooked Meal by Nicki Sizemore
A blink-and-you’ll-miss-it kind of book - His Favorites by Kate Walbert
Any man who can spend a million a year and have nothing to show for it, don’t need a recommendation from anybody. - Brewster's Millions by George Barr McCutcheon
Terror in an Idyll - A Taste for Vengeance (Bruno, Chief of Police Series) by Martin Walker
Better luck next time - 99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne
Insert cat pun here. - Under the Moon: A Catwoman Tale by Myracle, Lauren
Those crawdads gonna need to sing a little louder - Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens
Lost in Translation or Indecision - Every Tool's A Hammer by Adam Savage
You don’t have to hide it from me. - The Devotion of Suspect X by Keigo Higashino
“Microbes do more than infect us, however; they are us, in the sense that we harbor more microbes than human cells” - Infectious Madness: The Surprising Science of How We "Catch" Mental Illness by Harriet A. Washington
Wow. Not in a Good Way. - Storm Cursed by Patricia Briggs
I don’t really know why I disliked this book about time-traveling bodyswaps in Tudor England. - Spark by Catherine Friend
Please Save me From White Savior Books - No Good Deeds by Laura Lippman
There were no servants to maintain the house; they were indistinguishable from the guests by then. - Hell House by Richard Matheson
You were supposed to be the chosen one! - Letters From Burma by Aung San Suu Kyi
Bring Me Back - Bring Me Back by B.A. Paris
I Want This Book, But Good - The Gospel of Food: Everything You Think You Know About Food is Wrong by Barry Glassner
Improbable + gloomy = Not interested - The Last Equation of Isaac Severy by Nova Jacobs
Besides, beautiful wasn’t a word you used to describe other people. - Light Years by Kass Morgan
Oh Cruel Obsession, You Must Be a Woman - The Rule of Four by Ian Caldwell & Dustin Thomason
Yadda yadda yadda, and there was peace throughout the land - Exit West by Mohsin Hamid
Not That Engrossing, Story Loses Itself Halfway Through - Sanctuary by Nora Roberts
The Main Character Was Too Hard to Take - Death and Other Happy Endings by Melanie Cantor