That’s what this book is all about–taking things we do every day and layering meaning and ritual onto them, even experiences as ordinary as reading or eating–by thinking of them as spiritual practices.
― Casper ter Kuile, The Power of Ritual: How to Create Meaning and Connection in Everything You Do
As a control freak and a lover of routine, I appreciate and find calm in performing my daily rituals: making my coffee, showering with my favorite tunes playing, checking and culling my collections in Pokemon Go, and spamming my family and friends with Instagram reels that cause me to bark laughter at innocent passersby as I wait for the bus. As a self-proclaimed introvert, I bristle when asked to join in events that require interacting with other humans face-to-face. As I get older, I’ve come to realize that even though I may not want it, I need human interaction on a consistent basis. It temporarily drains me, but it gets me out of my head and provides that crisp snap of satisfaction at the end of a good day.
As a child, I hated getting up on Sunday, dressing up, and going to church. But while in church, specifically the call and response and hymn singing, I got a warm, fuzzy feeling that calmed me. I felt comforted by the routine. As an adult, I long for a similar feeling even though I have no desire to return to church. Therefore, a book focused on ritual as the goal instead of the output intrigued me.
Casper Ter Kuile holds Masters degrees in Divinity and Public Policy from Harvard University and is one of the co-creators of the podcast Harry Potter and the Sacred Text. During his studies, he witnessed the different ways in which people incorporate traditional rituals into their lives, or how they adapt a ritual from their childhood or from their culture to derive meaning from the practice while adapting it for their own needs. For example, ter Kuile practices a tech sabbath from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. During this time, he doesn’t use his laptop or smartphone for emails, texting, or perusing news or videos. He begins his Friday sabbath with a song and by lighting a candle, two signals to his body and mind that it is time to rest.
For those of us who consider ourselves non-religious or non-practicing, we have created numerous “churches” where we “worship” with our chosen communities. Crossfit. Parkrun. Iron Man races. Fan conventions. Concerts. These are all places where we come together to celebrate, to feel safe, to feel known, and to feel supported.
While I am not part of a regular meetup, I am focusing primarily on the small, regular rituals I can do either on my own or with a small group of friends. For example, one ritual I found particularly interesting that I want to try is The Art of Pilgrimage.
“Pilgrimage is a multi-sensory experience. It’s about making contact. Getting up close and touching, looking, smelling, listening, even tasting the land around us.”
“This is traveling at the ‘speed of sniffs’. Just like an enthusiastic dog on the road, we notice all sorts of interesting sights and smells that invite further investigation. Our breath slows down. We become present.”
As I go about my walks, I’m trying to remain more present. I realize that I do so many things on autopilot, perhaps I should aim for more novel experiences, especially on my walks, as a regular sort of mindfulness practice. I’m taking off my headphones and opening my eyes and ears to the world around me. It’s not easy, but it is a ritual I can incorporate and, most importantly, one that I genuinely enjoy.