Ordinary People–Is the Mother a Monster or Misunderstood?

My book-of-the-day yesterday was Ordinary People. I hadn’t read it since high school and wanted to see if I still enjoyed it as much as I did then. I also really liked the movie when I first watched it during that same time period. Mary Taylor Moore played against type extremely effectively; Judd Hirsh and Donald Sutherland were also particular standouts. Robert Redford (RIP) directed the movie to a Best Picture win, I believe.

I remember being shocked at how evil many people thought Mary Taylor Moore’s character was. My own mother is not, um, particularly “touchy feely,” as she would say, so perhaps that influenced my gentler take. I also gave the movie a rewatch (I had a late night..haha), and I do think she’s portrayed a little more favorably than in the book. She barely seems to communicate with her son Conrad at all in the book.

Iin both book and movie, while she is definitely a perfectionist and control freak who’s either afraid or unwilling to show emotion, this occurs in the aftermath of a family tragedy. People show emotions in different ways, though it is strongly hinted that she’s always been very afraid to lose control.

More interesting is Conrad’s shifting viewpoint on his mother. The book and movie were completed during a time that therapy was still taboo, but he benefits immensely from this intervention.

I think this is a compelling story on the different ways grief is processed and what it means to wade through the murky waters of life’s messiness and seemingly cruel randomness.

Does anyone else have thoughts on the Mary Tyler Moore character? Is she a caricature, or do you view this as a more nuanced take on what grief can do?