Cannonball Read Bingo: Family
“Behaviorally challenging kids are challenging because they’re lacking the skills to not be challenging.”
This book is geared toward parents of “explosive” children: the kids whose emotional outbursts and out-of-control behaviors are becoming exhausting and overwhelming to everyone in the house. Greene suggests that these problems are caused by “lagging skills” and “unsolved problems,” not by the kid’s desire to be difficult. He then lays out a model that helps parents guide their children in developing these lagging skills and understand the frustration behind their behavior. This model involves assessing when the behaviors occur, prioritizing which issues are most important to tackle first, and then working collaboratively with the child to solve problems.
As the parent of an “explosive child,” I thought this book was really insightful and helpful. I really appreciated the reminder that when kids act in challenging ways, they aren’t purposely trying to make parents’ lives harder. According to Greene, “kids do well when they can,” so if they aren’t doing well, it is up to parents to help them bridge the gap between their cognitive skills and the behavioral expectations placed on them. I also liked how practicable Greene’s advice is. Throughout the book, he provides worksheets to fill out about your child’s behavior, along with case studies demonstrating what the process looks like in practice. Everything is there to help you implement his approach. There is an emphasis on proactive problem solving: talking with your child about their behavior and making plans when they are calm, instead of trying to solve problems mid-tantrum. I agree that proactivity is ideal, but I would have appreciated a little more guidance on what to do when that approach is unsuccessful and my kid is screaming and throwing things. As a whole, “The Explosive Child” provides a compassionate, practical approach where parents partner with their kids to solve behavior problems. I would recommend it to any parent or caregiver who could use some extra help dealing with volatile behavior at home.