I didn’t go into XOXO with the highest of expectations, but I did go in with some. I expected a meet-cute, a marriage of convenience, a slow burn, and a satisfying conclusion to the story. And XOXO provides that, kind of. Ophelia is what you’d call a true romantic. Loves all the rom coms, believes in big, heart-felt gestures, and is sure that her long-distance boyfriend Trevor is the one for her. So what if he’s in Baltimore and she’s in Boston? They’re meant to be! And so she plans a surprise visit to his place in Baltimore, documenting the whole thing on social media. The visit blows up in her face, and the videos blow up on online, rendering #RomanticSurpriseGirl Internet famous practically overnight. Meanwhile Xavier Henry is an English footballer playing for Baltimore’s professional soccer team, and getting tired of being benched during the prime of his career. His agent suggests hastening his naturalization process (and aiding his transfer to another team) by marrying an American, any American. Ophelia is taking a break from dating, but wants to help out her new friend, Xavier. Xavier is desperate to keep playing soccer in the US, and thinks that Ophelia is pretty cool, actually. Could a marriage of convenience be the solution to both their problems?
So, the premise is silly, but I thought it sounded cute enough. I started reading and was immediately irked by a few things. First, the author takes very well-known things – Tik Tok, the Premier League, Major League Soccer, THE WORLD CUP – and renames them. If you’re changing league rules to make your romance work, ok, I get it, name it something else. But social media apps? The World Cup? The World Cup isn’t even part of the plot, there’s no need to change the name of an internationally recognized competition! And every time I read Clik Clak instead of Tik Tok my eye twitched. But I can get over that stuff, even if it irks me.
What’s harder to get over is the complete lack of characterization for anyone but Ophelia and Xavier. Marley is her best friend, yet we barely know anything about her. She mentions her family a few times, and feeling like the black sheep because she’s the least accomplished, but then we meet her family and they all decide to pile on, tear her down, and mock her relentlessly. Wouldn’t she have maybe thought sometimes about how badly her family treats her, if this is a regular occurrence? No, we’re led to believe that she has an overall close relationship with them, but when we meet them they’re all terrible. And there is absolutely no resolution to that, they’re just all suddenly there at the end and everyone is a happy family again.
I could have gotten past that stuff. There was enough sweetness from Xavier (the wedding ring, the apartment) and there was enough chemistry between the two that I was still enjoying it, despite my annoyance. But then came the climax of the story. What made me almost stop reading the book (and what did make me give it one star) was the completely unnecessary pro-Johnny Depp stance and jab at Amber Heard right near the end. Either the author is a Depp stan, in which case I have no desire to give her book a good rating, or the character Ophelia is a Depp stan, in which case I do not like her and don’t like her story any longer. Like, what was the motivation to include that line? It completely threw me out of the story and made me not want to finish it. I was about 20 pages til the end so I stuck it out, but it was a close call.
Anyhow, I’ve probably ranted enough. XOXO was an ok-ish book that I probably would have given 2.5 stars to, but based on that crack against Amber Heard I’m rating as 1. I know that I won’t bother picking up any other books in this series or by this author. So at least she saved me time and energy!