Jessica loves Christmas. She makes her living during the year playing poker tournaments, but around late October she travels the country looking for a job as Mrs Claus at Christmas markets. It’s her favourite thing in the world; making children happy and thusly making their parents happy. The lights, the glitter, the sparkle. And after work, she kills people who deserve it.
This isn’t my usual fare, but I decided to give it a go because it’s freaking hot outside and I was in the mood for something light-hearted that gives off a chilly vibe that I could do with. And I really did enjoy it for the most part. It is, however, important to overlook a bunch of inconsistencies when reading this book, but then again, one does not pick up a novel titled How to Slay at Christmas if one is looking for realism. An in-depth novel about the intricacies of family slash small town life around the holidays this ain’t, but then again, one could tell as much by looking at the cover.
It does manage to be generally festive; the Christmas market sounds delightful, though these things, in my experience, are generally a letdown. There’s also Jessica’s love interest, a man who has devoted his life to rescuing animals and is therefore always accompanied by a slew of dogs and the occasional pony or alpaca; her whiney, self-involved boss and his wife Fearne, who quietly makes her money writing werewolf erotica and who becomes Jessica’s new BFF. There’s a teenage runaway, and your typical influencer-obsessed teenager with a heart of gold. There is a lot going on, really. The ending of the story is downright unhinged, but in a good way.
Not all of it makes sense, even within the confines of what is already a pretty insane story. One character’s response to finding out his loved ones plan to have him murdered is “I’m sorry, I’ll do better.” And he does, so good for him, but DUDE THEY WERE PLANNING TO HAVE YOU KILLED. There are also odd misphrasings (“this cafe does a cracking prosecco”) and incongruous tonal mixing (Brits go to uni, not to college). People frequently behave in odd ways that feel shoehorned in to fit the plot. Jessica, who supposedly can’t afford even the tiniest of apartments, spends an inordinate amount of money on luxury goods; I don’t mean in an skip-the-avocado-toast-so-you-can-buy-a-house, but hundreds of pounds worth of gifts and outfits, dinners, drinks and lunches on a daily basis. One of the antagonists is a sort of Dolores Umbridge type of person, and though we all love hating Dolores Umbridge this is written in a very clunky way. It’s effective, but also a missed opportunity, even in a book where the characters are pretty one dimensional.
Is this a good book? Not as defined by any literary standards. It needs a little finetuning in places. It is, however, a lot of fun. It kept me engaged and the plot has a few twists that I genuinely didn’t see coming, perhaps because the book is all over the place; nevertheless, it was enjoyable. You could do worse for December reads.
I received this copy for free through Netgalley. This in no way affects my review.