After finishing My Father, the Panda Killer by Jamie Jo Hoang, I texted a friend to tell her I had finally finished the difficult book I was reading. It was difficult as the pacing felt slow to me and the subject is far from easy. The main character is the first generation to be born in the states after her parents fled war-torn Vietnam during/after the war. We, like the narrator Jane, learn about things in snippets with her having to fill in the blanks. This leads the author to tell us afterwards that Jane is an unreliable narrator. However, I felt she is as reliable as anyone could be looking at their father from the outside with mostly missing information and her own cultural issues with being Vietnamese and hating that, her best friends attitude/freedom she wants, her classmates issues/situations that shape her, then later learning more about things from cousins.
With more things said to my friend she comments that it was a complicated and thoughtful story. I agreed it is. The surface is easy: dealing with the abandonment of her mother, her fathers abuse, her taking over the role of serving her family, trying to find the courage to leave the familiar even if it is not good for her. But the little things really do turn into big things and made me think of things overall.
When all is said and done, I cannot find it in me to forgive Jane’s father or the other parents who use their war trauma to justify the abuse they put their children through. I could forgive the patriarchal society, even the grandparents for forgiving their son who fought for the North Vietnamese/Vietcong, but how the parents cannot break the pattern was hard to watch. It is an interesting look at America, the immigrants and their children in the 1990s, and it made me wonder if eventually Jane’s generation (some born in Vietnam, some in the US) can break the cycle. We learn a bit about how the parents do try to Americanize (though in many ways they are American, but are stuck in 1950s America so Jane doesn’t feel they are Americanized) with things like their children’s names. Jane tells us that the letters J F W Z don’t have a Vietnamese equivalent, so Jane is almost unpronounceable to most of the family
And that brings to like how the idea of immediate and extended family comes into play with the community as a whole. There are the confusions with the the ideas of relationships via ages and not necessarily blood, but if you are from the maternal or paternal sides plays a role, and of course birth order is important. Then there are the people call Uncles/Aunts or family who start as friends but are closer than biological family
And this whole journey started because I found an online copy of the sequel/companion, My Mother, the Mermaid Chaser (due later September 2025). I do recommend reading this one first (currently available hardcover and paper). It took me over a week to get through as it is not so dense, but not easy and I recommend a nice quiet place to enjoy while reading.