Considering George Watsky’s How to Ruin Everything had a blurb from Lin-Manuel Miranda on the cover, I expected better from his collection of essays. While there were a couple of decent essays, for the most part Watsky’s writing about his life just wasn’t that interesting. And he has had an interesting life–from being a spoken-word poet to a musician to a rapper to a playwright. But his essays fall flat, with little tension or interest. To follow are my unedited notes on each essay.
Tusk—Young and at loose ends he takes a roadtrip to bring a narwhal tusk back from Canada for a hundred-year-old woman’s birthday. Some good imagery, faintly dramatic with a brief arrest for drug paraphernalia, but not as quirky fun as I think he’s going for..
Fa Kieu—Reminisces of school days and getting in trouble. Raps threats at teacher and is suspended. Rapping is cringe which I suppose is the point. About being a screw up but on a very low level.
O Positive—About becoming a man on a post-high school grad trip to Europe. Running of bulls, getting drunk for first time with older woman. Ends by a lake with a friend. Pretty tame.
Down to the Filter—A lightweight story about LA, acting ambitions and Pauly Shore.
Ask Me What I’m Doing Tonight!—Travels the country to colleges doing spoken word/poems. Toss-off line about connection and disconnection, ultimately dull.
Crying & Baseball—This was a pretty good story focused on his dad. Baseball as a connector. Better essay because there’s less about him. His dad’s more interesting.
What Year is It?—Experience with and family history of epilepsy. Lightweight muse about death and connection. Family remains more interesting .
The Boy Who Cried MILF—Passing interest in older women where nothing ends successfully/no affairs. Total non-story (okay, he’s not objectionable, just an average writer with an average life)
Good Hook!—Back and forth story of a fishing expedition and watching strangers on an airplane hook up doesn’t work. Just no there there.
Three Stories—Living in a dump as a college student. Hookah and incomplete sex and annoying roommate. About nothing.
My Third Eye—Trip to India. Slightly interesting but also cliche.
The White Whale—Actually a pretty sweet story about his band’s roadtrip in the White Whale, a lumbering old tour bus they buy to travel the country. Great character in driver Paul (though looking through his own shit for his swallowed gold tooth cap was a bridge too far). Tight story about music and travel and dreams.
Concert Tickets—Kind of cool short story about tripping on mushrooms and setting fireworks off at the beach.
There is nothing offensive about this collection, and I’m probably being way too hard on it because I read this right after a book of essays by James Baldwin. I mean, no one can hold a candle.