But that aside! This still marks one of the few non-fiction self-help-esque books I’ve read, largely because I don’t set aside the energy required to make use of them the way that they’re meant to be used–like textbooks, not books. You cannot read though a book like this and expect to get benefits, although there’s some interesting nodding along the way. Hence my attempt at using this book in a series of relationships in my life, and more generally as I made a very large city transition and needed to make/remake friends to expand my social network.
Overall takeaways are that this is a useful book, although I imagine many people who’ll read it will be, like me, social creatures interested in being better relationship partners, and find in it a combination of things you do well and things you know are you weak points. In a work context I’m a large proponent of “focus on your strengths/minimize your weaknesses,” and I think in an interpersonal context you need to focus on both, and so for that latter part (fixing weaknesses) this book does do a good job. Lots of well-trod lingo is explained here–‘crossing the net’ (not assuming what the other person is thinking in a conversation), ‘I feel like’ is not a feeling (if you need the word “like” chances are what you’re saying isn’t a feeling but a thought), etc.
Aka, find someone who’s similarly interested in sharpening their interpersonal skills and give this book a try?