TRIGGER WARNING (including but not limited to): talk of Sexual Assault on a minor; other sexual assaults; frank language
A few weeks ago, I started a sad, but interesting, book. It’s about a child (Danielle) who was sexually assaulted by an older boy. But that’s just the start. Because her guardian, Joyce, has always been honest with her; told her how to act in situations, especially this one; she is able to fight and run off. And unlike many stories like this, our young girl tells her guardian what happened right away. This allows them to start the process of legal action and healing. Therefore, the book is not about the guilt, shame or hiding that is in most books on the subject, but it is the progress afterwards.
I was texting about it with a friend I bounce my thoughts off of (she’s great at helping me organize them) and she said it sounded a bit creepy. I wasn’t thinking that, but yes, creepy is a good word. But you wouldn’t think the title The Courage Party would be creepy. That is until you read the full title: The Courage Party: Helping Our Resilient Children Understand and Survive Sexual Assault. This book is based on the true story of Joyce Brabner’s daughter, who narrates the story. This is because her family feels that she should take back control of things, it is her story to tell so she can tell you what she wants. Like why Joyce is not her “real mom” but her “Real Joyce.”
By the end of part one, I was thinking, should a Courage Party happen? Now it wasn’t because I didn’t believe the girl, or think it wasn’t a way to heal, but I was trying to see the bigger picture. I was thinking it might “train” a child to think “oh I get a party if something bad happens,” so they’ll always expect it. Maybe lie to get one? And it seems a bit too modern. Coddling. And that’s when I realized I had to finish the book, no matter how slow it was up to then (and honestly it is slow reading). I needed to find out what this was all about. I agree we shouldn’t (as Brabner says) “make it comfortable for the adult and not talk about it” as we should talk about it. I like the use of the phrase Dictionary Words to say how you should describe things (penis, vagina, sexual assault, criminal). I figured the book was doing its job. It was making me think. There are “pink parts” that are questions, thoughts or comments by Joyce that allows the adult, and child, to pause and think about what is going on. But I needed more.
The first part was broken down from assault to the meeting of the lawyer and her advocate. It is not completely chronological, but for the most part it is (Danielle does bounce forward and back a bit). It is almost “real time” as we are taking things step-by-step. Part Two starts with Danielle standing in a Sailor Moon like costume (I assume it’s one of the Sailors due to the info provided earlier) and it’s ready to give us What’s Next.
A quick word about the illustrations of Gerta Oparaku Egy. They are not “full of details and busy and tell the story” but are there to support things. They are actually appealing even if showing something bad (the attackers face during the attack). But they are also a smidgen odd as there is a lot of pink happening. This gives things an almost old fashioned look to things. If I was going to date them it could be from the 1970s to early 1990s. The outfits do give it a 1990s early 2000 look, but also it could be anytime and anyplace.
There is one thing the author and I partly agree on. She said that there isn’t a subject that can’t be talked about as long as you are age appropriate. But she might be a bit too open in some ways. (She thinks everyone should read this book, and age isn’t an issue). I am not sure how much is true and how much they had to take artistic license on, but Danielle is both very young looking, sounding and acting but they are making her also mature and “understanding it all. I know that because my middle nephew had to take on some responsibilities young, and he is so tall that people thought he was older and therefore more mature than his age, so they treated him older and they shouldn’t have. And the story is really leaning that way.
Also, I am not sure how much it glorifies assault. That is something society can (and does) do. How many shows and movies have the leading characters “fall in love” after he rapes her? The modern romance/fantasy troupes are heavy on this. This thought came to me when I was reading Part Two, the party. They only invite six people (Joyce, Danielle, a neighbor, a friend, their pastor and Danielle’s doctor) and so far, three of them all have an assault story. They are “pounding their chests” and acting like it is a church revival.
As this is now over 900 words, I will stop though there is still part three to read. I will wrap this up with my takeaway. This is not an easy book, it is not for everyone, but hopefully it will make you think about the subject, learn something and know that even when you have finished it you will probably continue thinking about it.