I first came acorss Oliver Burkeman’s ideas on the podcast NPR Life Kit, episode titled “How To Rethink What You Spend Your Time — And Life — Doing.” He had my immediate attention. And then I forgot about it because you know, life. A different friend said this book was life-changing and I was skeptical because that’s a bold claim but now that I’ve read it I concur. I have almost every other page of this book turned down, and so many lines highlighted it’s comical at this point.
He comes out swinging from the very beginning “Introduction: In the long run, we’re all dead” so you know from jump what you are getting into, a bit of existentialism. But his ideas fit right into the groove of my very own. Sometimes when I’m feeling despondent I think about how nothing we do, in the grand scheme of being a tiny speck on this rock in the course of human history matters. But then, that sparks some hope because if nothing matters, well, nothing matters. And then you can learn to appreciate that the shame/judgment/pressure you feel to be more/do more is really self-cultivated, and so if nothing matters, then it doesn’t matter when you do nothing so you should cut yourself some damn slack.
“Let’s start by admitting defeat: none of this is ever going to happen. But that’s great news.”
The “it” he refers to is when you have everything under control and you are meeting all obligations (home and work) and no one is mad at you and you can be the fully best most perfect version of yourself. But here is the thing, he’s right: acknowleding the futility of that is SO freeing!
This book is Burkeman also breaking up with a version of his past self, who was obsessed with efficiency and mastering time.
“I spent years trying and failing to achieve mastery over time. In fact, the symptoms were especially glaring in the subspecies to which I belonged. I was a “productivity geek.” You know how some people are passionate about bodybuildling or fashion, or rock climbing or poetry? Productivity geeks are passionate about crossing items off their to-do lists. So it’s sort of the same, except infinitely sadder.”
OOH. SELF BURN. In that I feel that he burned himself, but also me a little bit, like a lil sunburn.
Suffice it to say this book has definitely changed my life. He ends with some clear points to ponder and ways to embrace new attitudes that I’m looking forward to impliement. In fact, I had a great little book club with a few friends about this one. What started as one meet-up has morphed into a monthy touchpoint where we will continue mining this book for insights and putting our mortal feet forward, one step at a time.