As is common, I had a witch phase when I was a teen. Or perhaps even a pre-teen! I had an alter. I cast circles. Earnestly called the corners. Bound people from doing harm. I watched my bootleg recording of the Craft so much I could deliver each line from memory. Being a witch was a thrilling secret, which came undone the second my sister gifted me a book of spells for my birthday. Suddenly, I felt like a fool. I cannot really explain why, but my wiccan days came to an abrupt halt with that cartoonish, purple-covered book of spells.
So when I read a Cannonball review of this book, it called to me. Could I, like the author, return to witchcraft all this time? I was so dedicated as a kid and it brought a sense of control to me that was empowering. But what would that even look like? Where would I begin?
Helmuth’s book answered all these questions and more. With research and purpose, she set about understanding the sects of the craft, the history, and complexity, and the ways of practicing. She tried her hand at spells, conducted tarot readings, struggled to meditate, invested lump sums of cash to get the ‘right’ gear… All amongst the background of the pandemic and a romantic relationship facing a major turning point.
The story Helmuth tells of her year of experimentation with the craft was comprehensive, but exhausting. Having listened to the audiobook, I grew dejected with the author/narrator starting seemingly every second sentence with a laborious ‘sigh’. Any moment approaching happiness was rapidly offset with privilege-checks or Debbie-downer-style ‘But’s’. There were a few fleeting moments where she connected with nature and almost kinda seemed to find peace within herself, but mostly, she seemed profoundly sad. As her narration continued, I found myself less invested with her year of learning witchcraft, and more invested in hoping she found some shred of joy and happiness in her life.
I feel a little vexed about this book and it left an odd feeling in me… But perhaps that is the point.
Overall, 3 impractical dissolvable athames out of 5