I try hard not to pander as a well-intentioned guy but, man, men suck. Not trying to impress anyone with this very obvious comment. It’s a world created by and dominated by men. I don’t say this to invisibilize the very real gains and sacrifices women and non-cis-men have made in this world. But so often, the worst crimes in humanity originate from the minds and hands of men.
I say this because Astrid Holleeder’s very raw memoir about testifying against her brother is not just a true crime tale: it’s the story of a woman trying desperately to escape control from the men in her life, first her abusive father, then her murderous and narcissistic brother, the latter of which a crime lord. The line she had about struggling after her and her mother moved out of her dad’s clutches because her brain had become so attuned to conflict and anger…whew man, that is some awful trauma.
About 70% of this book is Astrid maneuvering around the Dutch legal system, trying not to get killed by her brother while also trying to find the best way to bring him down for killing her friend’s husband, who was also his partner in crime. The woman sacrifices large parts of her life, all of it at the end, to try and make this happen.
Her humanity is more than just the anger and whims of men. But it’s horrifying to see how much her life was controlled by said anger and whims. A heartbreaking true crime memoir of a story that is apparently still being told.