#cbr11bingo #RainbowFlag
Once again, I find myself really wishing I did not have to rate A Year Without a Name: A Memoir. It is one of those books with little in between the “love it or hate it” feeling. Much of what I felt is not politically correct due to how much of the subject, style of writing and even the narrator was unpleasant to read about. Yet, being in that “uncomfortable zone” probably is the point. Cyrus Grace Dunham is not looking to make you, the reader, comfortable, they were trying to make themselves comfortable. They wanted to fit their body. They wanted mind, body and soul to all match.
There is much going on here. It is almost as if we are looking at their diary, we are inside their mind and by their side as they tell us the story all at once. You will like, dislike, understand and will be unsure all at the same time. We watch Grace as a child, as someone knowing they are not female and yet not male, and we finally see a transformation to Cyrus. Yet, Grace is still there. Under the surface.
While Dunham does not get “gory-graphic” they are graphic. They do not hold back with their sexual encounters (at least one sadist-masochistic/fetish), their language or talking about their drug and alcohol use. They have vivid, horrific dreams about mutilating their body. They describe their top surgery with realistic detail. They even mention some of their “perversions” (which I feel is up to the reader to agree or disagree with. I lean towards the fact they were most likely projecting their own self-hatred). You see their good and bad choices. Dunham is human throughout: self-centered, introspective, selfish, stupid, smart, craving, longing, hurting.
The world that surrounds them seem to be mostly supportive. Their friends are mostly of the GLBTQ+ community. Their family is more traditional with a few exceptions (both parents are artists, their sister becomes famous). But they too are supportive. Dunham speaks about the family’s pros, cons, mental and physical health issues and more. Yet, all of this is shown in snap shots and wrapped up and contained in a small book of around 200 pages. Much of the time this reads as a novel and not a memoir, which makes me wonder about the reliability of the narrator. Because of this, other spots of almost poetic prose and “missing” information, this would make a great book to discuss at book clubs, in college classrooms and just between friends.
Each reader will experience Dunham’s journey due to their own biases and experiences.
Due October 2019